Are Single Men Intimidated By Strong, Successful Women?

That’s a question I posed to a group of over 100 professional Black singles at an event designed for men and women to keep it real about their feelings on dating, sex and relationships.  The responses were so real & raw, the conversation was LIT!

I apparently touched a nerve with the fellas and the sistas. Maybe you can relate? Holla if any of these real-life scenarios sound familiar…

Scenario #1:

You meet someone online whose profile says he has an MBA from Harvard, an honorary PhD, and a six-figure job. His parents have been married for over 40 years, and he says he’s looking for a wife. His profile picture depicts a confident, clean-cut brother, and he is one of the first to inbox you when you put your profile up.

After a few text message conversations, you casually mention that you’re so excited that you’re in the market for a new house and he innocently asks to see pictures of homes you’ve been visiting. After you send them he says, “Are you expecting the man you’re with to keep up this lifestyle?”

Scenario #2:

You mention to the man you’ve been seeing for the last 3 months that you’re excited about your upcoming trip to Belize. He gets quiet, then tells you that you should be saving your money instead of wasting it on so many trips. He tells you he’s not going to support such a frivolous lifestyle (as though you were expecting him to do that for you anyway). When you tell him thanks for his concern, but  how you spend your money is your business, he snaps: “That’s what’s wrong with you educated women. You don’t know how to submit to a REAL man!”  

Scenario #3:

You step into your first date carrying a Louis bag, wearing your favorite pair of Red Bottoms and slaying with a fresh sew-in. The date seems to go well, although you were a little confused about what he meant when he said he was still single because he couldn’t find a woman who wasn’t so materialistic. After the date, he walks you back to your car. When he sees it’s a 2018 Benz, he shouts out, “Dang, girl! You got it like that?!”

Maybe you’ve had someone make assumptions about you before they even say hello. He assumes you’re not interested because you carry yourself like you don’t play games. Or when he finds out you’re an MD, PhD, or JD, and you live in a nice home, he suddenly becomes too busy to talk anymore. Maybe you’ve had guys asking you for money to pay rent or student loans or airplane tickets because they think you got it like that.

You’re not even one of those sisters who asks a brother for his credit score on a first date. Yes, you’d like him to bring something to the table, but as long as he’s stable and wants to build something with you, you’re all good!

All of it makes dating and relationships exhausting. You feel like you can’t trust that a man is being genuine or not. You wonder if there’s a man out there who won’t make money an issue in a relationship.

What’s really going on with successful women and relationships? Are single men really intimidated to be with a high-powered woman? Or are women so self-reliant that they make men feel like there’s no room for them in their lives?

The answers are more complicated than you think. And if you don’t get clarity on this huge obstacle in Black relationships, you could stay stuck and struggling instead of boo’d up with a man who honors, appreciates and respects you.

I’m spilling the tea in our next Single For The Holidays Live Broadcast. This is one you won’t want to miss!

<< Click here for details >>




  1. Let’s clear up a misconception here. Men are not intimidated by your education and career. What is daunting about today’s professional women is that men don’t see why they are needed anymore. For over half a century what have men heard? We women do not need you to provide, to protect, to be fathers and to be husbands. Marriage is oppressive to women. We women can do it all and have it all. If you are so successful that you can do anything, know everything, provide everything, have a security system, a guard dog, a black belt, and a handgun, have your eggs on ice, and can raise a child on your own, what do you need a man for? Moreover, where does he fit in? Provider? Nope. Protector? Nope. Father? Nope. There is enough banked sperm on the planet to give every women on earth two designer kids each for a hundred years. Husband? Nope. What role does he have? Thanks to feminism, the social expectation of men preparing to be husbands and fathers is gone. You see men have heard the girl power mantra…men are bad, women are good! Men leave us alone! Men we don’t need you! Moreover, college campuses are very anti-male where male students are made to feel like rapists and misogynists, etc. the first day of school. Yet, women want men to up? What for? Decent men have been stepped on for the last sixty years. It has become so bad for men that many men see no benefit to marriage and nothing but penalties when marriage fails. Marriage has become a parachute with a 60% failure rate where 80% of women file for divorce often out of the blue blindsiding husbands.The family court system is so biased against men and after they are divorced raped, they are lucky to recover over the course of a lifetime. Many men are going MGTOW or just avoiding women. Thanks to #Metoo! many men have stopped dating because they don’t want to risk having their lives ruined by one false accusation of sexual harassment or assault by a women. Women in their pursuit to compete in the workplace have developed their masculine energy to the point that they bring it with them on dates. Honest Men fall in love with the woman that you are and not your education and career accomplishments! That is not the value men see in women unless they are low life gold-diggers. In addition, that suppressed feminine energy and female vulnerability women suppress for the board meetings is what elicits a desire for men to provide and protect and feel a connection to you which makes a commitment from him possible. When men see no place, no role to play where they can be men in relationships and women are so fraught with masculine energy that they are not women anymore, and men are made to feel like an enemy to all women, is it a wonder that men are no longer preparing for the roles of husband , father, protector or provider? Feminism with it’s “education and career first, then marriage and family second” imperative for women has taken away men’s roles and in many ways has made men obsolete. What do men do when they are not needed anymore? ….play their video games, watch their movies, hang out with guys, do their hobbies, focus on their jobs….etc. Feminism is not about equality but women’s empowerment and dis-empowerment of men and with the ever growing success of women comes the ending of traditional male roles by design. If you can’t find successful men to date or marry, well, that is the feminist agenda ladies. Don’t think so? How many male centers on college campuses? Since 1984, more women earn degrees than men. College educated women are now the majority over college educated men in the US workforce and in many other Western countries. It is well understood that men tend to marry in the 24 to 34 year age range. How many career women wait until their 30’s to look for Mr. Right? How many men in their 30’s are looking for women in their 20’s to marry and are not considering women in their 30’s? The 30’s men want the girly 20’s women who do not have all that masculine energy and do not have all those unrealistic expectations. To make things worse, women still marry up and men marry down. If you are a successful career women, you are looking at men at your social economic level and above. However, the men you seek are looking at women at their social economic level and below. For a lot of guys who do not fit the modern women’s expectations of 6 ft, 6 pack abs, and 6 figures, we just live life as best we can. For many of our successful women, the feminist agenda is a very cruel joke…and a fat lie where women are finding out that they can’t have it all in terms of love, marriage and family. Some of our best women are going to lose out and join the global pool of leftover women and many unwanted men just have to plod along because we are not needed anymore. I have my MA, my bass guitar, bass amp, steady music gigs, a good job, great friends, a dog and a cat.

  2. The real problem is that most of these women are so very full of themselves, and think their S— doesn’t stink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *