Have you ever had a moment in your life where you’ve felt lost? Maybe you look at your everyday routine and wonder where you fit in it anymore. Many of us have regrets surrounding dreams we never met. Or remorse around circumstances we’ve found ourselves in. We think maybe, it’s too late to be who we want to be. Many people give up on “finding themselves” and fall into the flow of existence but it doesn’t have to stay that way. As long as you’re still alive, there is space to reconnect with your true self and live the life that feels good to you. This is how you do it:
Ask questions
Albert Einstein once said, “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” In order to reconnect with yourself and who you truly are, you have to get curious about possibilities. Who could you be if you did something different? What could happen if you let yourself be a little more free? What do you like to do now that you didn’t like before?
My mother has always hated taking walks outside. She realized, when she took walks with my father, he always walked ahead of her and it made her hate it. But one day, she started taking walks with a friend and realized she loved walking outside when she was able to keep up with the pace of the person she was walking with.
Now, she finds peace and freedom in taking walks and looks forward to finding opportunities to do so. What can you revisit that you’ve left behind? Are there any hobbies you used to love that you haven’t done in a while? Take a few minutes to sit down and ask yourself a few questions, you might be surprised by what you find.
Release the past
“Orange Is the New Black” star Danielle Brooks showed us a version of releasing the past when she shared this comment after appearing in in Lane Bryant’s #ImNoAngel campaign. “This is my moment to say I’m sorry to my 15-year-old self, to say I’m going to love you whether you fluctuate to a size 4 or go all the way to a 22.”
Our pasts can be significant for our growth and a hindrance to our progress all at the same time. How we view our past will affect how we move through life and that is not always a bad thing, but at times, it takes evaluation to know whether we need to let go or hold on.
As we get older, we change and grow in every single aspect of our lives. Our clothes fit differently. Our bodies change. There are also things in our lives that stay the same. Some of our habits, our taste in music, whether we’re extroverted or introverted. All of these details make us who we are but it’s necessary to take a look at our lives and release the things that are no longer helping us towards who we want to be.
Releasing the past is a process, but you can start by writing in a journal, talking to a therapist, or reconciling with those you may have had arguments with. If none of those feel like options, you can make a conscious choice to rewrite your narrative. Embracing who you are now versus who you used to be is a process and a journey but one you will enjoy if you allow yourself to.
Spend Time Alone
This one seems to be the hardest for some of us. We are so used to moving at a rapid pace that we often fail to take a moment to spend time with ourselves. If you’re an introvert, you are no stranger to alone time but can you spend time alone in silence, getting to know yourself? Can you take a moment to explore your likes and dislikes or reflect on how you felt throughout your day? It’s common for people to resist spending time alone because our thoughts can be overwhelming.
Research done by the Jed Foundation found that “one of the greatest benefits of spending time alone is how it helps you develop a better understanding of who you are. The more you know and understand yourself the more likely you are to do things that you love, learn things that interest you and spend time with people who make you feel good.” So essentially, alone time won’t only help you reconnect with yourself, it will also connect you with the life that most fulfills your soul.
