Are you dating a man who has yet to define the relationship? You want to know, “What are we? Where is this going?” but he either brushes you off, or you never speak up because you’re afraid to pressure him and push him away.
You know you are all in.
You can see a future with him (and you aren’t getting any younger.) You’re a successful woman who has created an amazing life for yourself and you’re ready for a real relationship.
But is he?
You’ve been taught to figure out where you stand with a man by having “The Talk” with him about commitment. But if you’re not careful, you’ll make 3 big mistakes that can ruin a promising relationship, or worse yet, cost you years of your life because you’re assuming you’re headed for commitment while he’s fine with the way things are.
So pay attention and take good notes. I’m about to give you expert advice that will help you navigate this challenging dating problem.
Continue this conversation by joining Dr. Aesha for an exciting Facebook Live series, Single For The Holidays, every Friday in December at 7 PM EST. (Click here for details)
Mistake #1: Waiting For Him to Define the Relationship
The biggest mistake I’ve seen as the Love Doctor for strong, successful sisters is that women have been conditioned to wait for one special moment where HE will tell you his intentions to commit to you.
Waiting for “The Talk,” wastes your precious time (and the last thing a successful woman needs to do is waste her time). You also give him all the power to define the relationship and pressure him to tell you “YES, you’re the one, when he’s still unsure at this point in dating you.
In other words, you unnecessarily create a make or break moment for your relationship. Instead, have several conversations about his general views on commitment beginning on day one when you meet.
Mistake #2: Dropping the “M Word” Too Soon
Girl, telling a man on the first date that you want to be married in the next 12 months is the fastest way to scare him off, even if he’s marriage-minded and looking for a wife.
Instead of pressing men to reveal their intentions with you (he just asked you out for a brunch at the Four Seasons, how can he know if he wants to have the reception there?!), get him sharing his thoughts about commitment in general so you can see if you’re aligned.
Mistake #3: Making Assumptions
You’ve been texting for weeks. He must want to date me, you assume.
You’ve been hanging out for months. He must want a relationship, you conclude.
You’ve been sleeping together, living together, and acting like a married couple. He must want to get married, you believe.
Or, he says he’s really focused on his career and making money moves. He doesn’t have time for anything serious, you think.
You know what they say about assumptions, girl. They make an a$$ out of you and me.
Powerful women ask powerful questions.
You are a powerful woman.
Ask, don’t assume.
Remember to practice good listening, tuning in to his responses from a place of clarity, curiosity and conviction, knowing that you’ve already committed to yourself and your desire to have a long term relationship. You’re just watching to see if you’re going to enjoy this relationship with him, or with someone who’s more aligned with you.
I know you’re ready for clarity on where you stand so you don’t waste your time.
That’s why I want you to create time to join me for a dynamic Facebook Live Series, Single For The Holidays. On this powerful broadcast, I’ll support you with the advice you need to get the commitment you deserve.
Bring your questions and your favorite drink and text all your girlfriends to join in. I will be dropping jewels that will make a difference for you right now.
1.CLICK HERE to connect to the official Aspire TV Facebook page
2.Like the Page and continue hovering over the LIKE button.
3.When the drop down menu appears, select Get Notifications (see image above)
4.When I go LIVE, you’ll be the first to know!
See you there!