When Jr. finally gets his driver’s license, he buys his first car — a dilapidated, gear-grinding, backfiring clunker — instead of the sensible car that Michael picked out for him. And, right before school picture day, Claire’s vanity takes a hit when her face becomes swollen from a tooth abscess.

Michael wants to play the videogame and Jay thinks he doesn’t love her anymore. He takes her out to dinner, and after 3 hours he returns home to his games. Jay is upset and decides that they should see Dr. Bouche. Michael is reluctant to go back to that “fat quack” and picks a different shrink, who’s also very fond of the game and doesn’t even bother to keep Jay’s name. She’s not satisfied, so they go to another psychologist, this time chosen by Jay. He gives great advice, and they realize they both have to give personal time for each other. Meanwhile, Claire wants to tag along with Jr. to a basketball game, and won’t let her. Michael teaches him the duties of an older brother and how to look out for his sister, while he tries to believe someone might actually be attracted to his sister.

The kids complain that Michael is being too strict since Jay left the house to take care of their grandma, so they call for a family meeting where they all discuss the way they think the family should be, with no repercussions. Jr. thinks having a rapper for a dad would be cool; Claire thinks the perfect dad should be the manager of the country’s #1 boy band and Kady thinks Michael should be a big blue dragon (much like TV’s Barney). Michael shows them how these versions could go wrong, and shares his thoughts of perfect children (which also wouldn’t work). At the end they all agree they should work for a better family relationship, even if it’s not how they dreamed it to be.

When the kids are grounded and aren’t allowed to watch TV, they decide to play “make me laugh or die”. Claire loses, and she is challenged to eat Michael’s ‘half time lemon pie’. When he wakes up looking for the pie and finds it to be missing, he asks his kids who ate it, but they all deny having anything to do with the missing pie. Michael decides then to give them a special punishment until one of them comes clean: all they’re allowed to eat is lemon pie. This comes in a very hard time for Jay, who’s hosting her ‘chubby buddy’ reunions at the house. Tired of seeing pies, Jay puts a stop on Michael’s punishment and points out that the kids have learned a lesson: stick together. Michael, frustrated for not discovering the truth, starts a pie fight in which everybody starts throwing pies at each other.

When the kids tease him about getting old, Michael pretends to have hurt his back in a game of Twister so they will have to cater to his every whim.