After calling Vanessa a quitter, Bernie challenges her to finish a 10K race; and Bernie thinks Jordan is making body parts out of clay.

Vanessa is forced to take a job at Bernie’s company after she runs up a debt on his credit cards.

Bernie is convinced that Vanessa is going to end up in trouble with boys after she buys a car; and Jordan tricks Wanda into thinking she’s driving him and his friends to a comic book convention.

Bernie lets Jordan baby-sit Bryana, but Jordan is more interested in watching a scary movie; and Wanda accidentally exposes herself during a charity auction.

Bernie shows Wanda how to intimidate the kids with Big Mama’s belt; and Bernie gets a state-of-the-art home entertainment system.

Bernie buys a BB gun when a possum shows up at the house; and Bernie clashes with Bryana’s father as he tries to show Jordan how to barbecue.

Bernie sentences Jordan and Bryana to a prison-like punishment after they misbehave, and then begins a CSI-style investigation for clues linking Vanessa to wrongdoing.

Bernie takes the family to a church retreat after Wanda notices that everyone is drifting apart; and Wanda tells Bernie she wants a child of her own.

Fearing that Bernie’s sister will one day return to take the children away, Wanda tells Bernie she wants to officially adopt the kids.

After Bernie bonds with Vanessa’s friend from Chicago, Vanessa extends an olive branch in an effort to mend fences with her uncle.

Bernie grows increasingly frustrated as Wanda’s efforts to conceive fail time and again.

When Wanda’s pregnancy test comes back positive, the kids grow convinced that they’re going to be replaced once the baby is born.

When Bernie’s sister Benita drops by for a visit, Bernie is pleased to see her... until she begins usurping his role as parent.

When Wanda’s parents visit the Mac household, it doesn’t take long for their behavior to irritate Bernie.

When Bernie discovers that Jordan has never had a birthday party, he decides to make it a memorable one... only to discover that one of Jordan’s classmates is having a birthday party on the same day, forcing Bernie to compete with the boy’s spiteful father.

Bernie is overjoyed when Jordan joins the gymnastics team at school, but his enthusiasm vanishes when he finds out that Jordan is a ribbon twirler.

Bernie clashes with his new neighbor when he builds a tree house for Jordan; Wanda resorts to drastic measures in an effort to keep her car clean.

Bernie sets out to give the kids a traditional Christmas, but when Vanessa, Bryana, and Jordan show more interest in receiving gifts than participating in holiday activities, an angered Bernie declares that Christmas has been cancelled.

Bernie’s bid at becoming a serious dramatic actor is torpedoed when people start laughing at his performance.

Bernie takes Jordan to the barbershop so he can observe other African-American guys and learn how to be a man; unfortunately Jordan repeats something Bernie had said about Earl the barber’s shaking hands.

When Vanessa gets a boyfriend, Bernie disapproves… until the boyfriend takes an interest in getting Jordan involved in sports and all things “old school.”

Wanda quits her job when a co-worker is promoted over her, but her presence in the house distracts Bernie as he prepares comedy material for an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show; Jordan arranges for boys to have access to Vanessa.

Bernie looks forward to a family reunion, but when his relatives get on his nerves, he’s happy to return home… only to discover that his relatives have come to the house for a “reunion after-party.”

Bernie plays an evil wizard in a movie featuring Bryana’s favorite character, Droobie; when Bernie’s character is mean to Droobie, Bryana thinks it’s the real thing.

Father Cronin informs Bernie that Jordan has an incredible gift for spelling words, but when Jordan enters a spelling bee, he realizes his true passion is comedy; and Vanessa videotapes the family for a school project.

When Wanda says that her parents are having money problems, Bernie decides to buy her father a car… only to find that no good deed goes unpunished.

When Jordan complains that he has no past, Bernie gives the boy a keepsake and tells him it once belonged to Jordan’s father; but the lie soon snowballs until Vanessa stops speaking to Bernie.

Bernie pulls Bryana out of the private school she’s attending after he observes the teachers in action and deems their lessons worthless; and Wanda tries to stop Vanessa and Jordan from fighting.

Bernie and Jordan join forces to play fantasy football; and Bryana takes an interest in applying makeup after Vanessa throws a makeup party for her friends.

Jordan and a new Jewish friend begin crashing bar mitzvahs; and Wanda and Vanessa play a joke on Bryana after she eavesdrops on conversations.

Bryan helps out Bernie while Wanda is away on a business trip; Jordan tries to convince his classmates he’s got the best smile in the eighth grade; and girls at school tease Bryana about her flat chest.

Bernie tries to arrange for a devout Christian who has yet to lose his virginity to take Vanessa to the prom; and a jealous Jordan resents Bryana after she injures herself playing soccer and is lavished with gifts.

Bernie and Wanda clash when Bernie insists that he’s the only one capable of teaching Vanessa how to drive a car.

Bernie builds a new addition to the house after realizing Bryana needs privacy.

Bernie clashes with his brother when his sister Benita gets married at the house; and Wanda ends up planning the wedding she never got to have.

Bernie is shocked to discover that Jordan is dating a cheerleader; and in order to have some free time for herself, Wanda lets Bryana hang around Vanessa.

Complications ensue when Wanda’s little sister Valerie throws Wanda a 1970s-themed skating party.

Bernie and Wanda try to help Vanessa improve her SAT scores, but Vanessa seems more interested in working at the coffee shop; and Jordan improves his physique.

After an electric shock sends him to a hospital, Bernie makes an effort to teach the children everything he knows; and Bernie gets on Vanessa’s nerves when he attempts to use his status as a celebrity to get her into Stanford.